


Secret Pain

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 19:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22003507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: Kakashi notices that Gai is acting weird, and take's it upon himself to solve the issue
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 82
Collections: KakaGai Week 2019 entries





	Secret Pain

Secrets were a regular part of Kakashi's life. They had to be given his job as an Anbu Shinobi, but he had gotten used to keeping secrets since he was 5 years old. 

His emotions were the best kept secret. No one in Konoha ever knew what he was thinking or how he was feeling. He had become one of the best in the village at keeping his emotions a secret. Something only he knew.

Well, him and one other person. For some reason Gai had always been able to see through all of the mask's Kakashi put up to keep his secrets safe. He had never been fooled and he had never let Kakashi get away with acting like nothing wrong.

Like nothing hurt.

Maybe that was why it was so easy for him to recognize that Gai was keeping a secret of his own. Using his smile and energy as a mask. One that no one else thought to question or break down. 

After all, who asks a happy person if there is anything wrong?

"You're doing it again." a tuft of silver showed up directly in front of Gai, dragging his eyes upwards as he stopped mid push up to examine his Rival. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he frowned, wondering when exactly Kakashi had decided to stop ignoring him and approach him directly. It was a little out of character for his rival, who usually preferred to sulk in a corner and pretend that Gai didn't exist.

"Choza Senpai invited you out to Lunch for dinner and you turned him down," Kakashi clarified "and no, training is not a good excuse."

"I told him we could go out to Lunch tomorrow with the team," Gai argued "I'm just not hungry."

Kakashi looked offended by his words "Don't lie to my face," he accused "you never turn down lunch and Choza Senpai knows that. He's being nice giving you space."

"And you decided that today was the day you weren't going to give me space?" Gai huffed "most other day's you ignore me. You could care less when I call out to you or invite you to lunch so why do you care today?" 

"I don't try to ignore you," Kakashi's voice softened "and that's not the point here. I'm a loner, everyone knows I prefer being alone. You're the opposite. You love social interaction and you especially love team outings."

Gai gave up at that point, resorting to taking a seat in the dirt as he continued to look up at Kakashi standing upside down with his feet attached to a tree branch with Chakra. 

"What is your point exactly?" He asked "I'm not allowed to want alone time once in a while?"

"Not when you're punishing yourself," he averted his eyes, unwilling to look at his rival when he was throwing around such accusations "It's your Birthday in a few days and Choza Senpai can't know for sure you'll have the day off. He wants to celebrate with you and your team early and you're too busy being mad at yourself to let him."

"I have nothing to be mad at myself for," Gai assured the other boy "I've done nothing wrong."

Kakashi's feet detached from the tree branch, allowing him to fall towards the ground as he did a flip mid air so he landed on his feet.

"You can tell yourself that, and probably the rest of the village. Heck Choza Senpai might even believe you if you said it to him, but I don't." He kept his eyes down, afraid to meet Kakashi's gaze and see the anger that was undoubtedly taking over his stare. "You think i don't know Gai? I don't blame myself every birthday and holiday? Everyone does when they've gone through what we have."

"It's not the same!" Gai snapped "you were 5! You couldn't have done anything, said anything to change what happened! If I had just been stronger…if I wasn't so weak…"

"I was 11 and a Jonin when Obito died because of my mistake!" Kakashi growled "and it was my hand that killed Rin. You know as well as I do. Stop acting like i don't know what you're going through!"

Gai turned his eyes back down towards the ground, unsure of what else to say. 

"You know," he listened as Kakashi shifted his feet in the dirt, his movements sounding almost nervous. "It's not your fault."

"Everyone said that at the funeral…" his heart ached. This was what he had wanted to avoid. His father had always told him to focus on the positive. To keep pushing forward and never look back, but for some reason he couldn't. For once, his mind wouldn't let him file away his pain and pretend it didn't exist. It refused to let him forget. "Everyone said he died a hero, but he shouldn't have died at all! I should have been able to protect my team! I should have been strong enough…"

His body froze when a pair of arms came down around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. Kakashi had never hugged him before, he had never even shown hints of wanting any physical contact with Gai or anyone else. 

Why was he acting so differently today?

"He died to protect what was precious to him," his heart ached. Precious, his father had always called him that. His precious boy, the one who would prove the village wrong and become a great shinobi. "He died so he didn't have to risk living his life without you, Gai."

"So I have to suffer instead?" Tears rolled down his cheek, "I have to bury him, I have to say goodbye, all so he didn't have to feel this hurt?"

"Sometimes people have to make a choice," Kakashi whispered "and sometimes it's selfish in our eyes. It's easier for them if they're the one to die."

Gai didn't need to know how Kakashi was so intune with someone else's feelings in this matter. Most of the time when it came to emotions Gai was the expert. He could tell how someone was feeling just from a glance, but no one knew sadness better than Kakashi. 

"I don't…" he shook his head. There were no words to say to explain himself. He didn't want to sit there smiling and laughing with his team when his heart ached. He didn't want to celebrate his birthday when his Papa wasn't there with him. It all felt so wrong.

"It's ok," Kakashi whispered, his voice voice of the usual anger and hurt "I won't tell Choza Sensei. But make me a promise," He turned to look at his rival, a little afraid of what the other boy might want him to do."if you can, if it doesn't hurt too much tomorrow, let Choza Senpai take you out."

"Why?" He asked, his voice weaker than normal. 

"Because that's what your dad did for me," His breath hitched. He had forgotten how his Papa used to make sure Kakashi wasn't alone on his birthday after Sakumo's death. How he always ensured Kakashi knew he wasn't alone.

Was that what Choza Sensei was trying to do? Remind Gai that he wasn't alone when everything felt so wrong and out of place?

"Ok…" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around Kakashi's waist so he didn't run away from the hug too soon "but i want you there too."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he didn't believe that for a second, but it did feel nice to hear it "i mean it Gai," his eyes met Kakashi's "i know i ignore you a lot, and i know i'm kind of a shit friend. I wish I could change that but it's...hard. that doesn't mean I don't care though. I do like spending time with you."

His arms tightened around Kakashi's waist "good." He whispered "we're eternal rivals after all. That means forever."

Kakashi chuckled beside him "of course it does." 

  
  



End file.
